What would I do if someone broke into my house right now? What would I do if someone was hiding in that bush and jumped out at me? What if someone is around the corner RIGHT now and is about to attack me?.... These types of questions never fail to occur to me at the most random times. Usually when I am alone, which I guess is good on some level, because I wouldn’t want to be distracted when I’m figuring out my escape plan. It could be a matter of life or death.
I always laugh at myself when these thoughts first cross my mind.
and then I try to suppress them... but the thoughts just linger...
I can’t help but think about it now!
I guess it can’t be the worst thing to waste my time thinking about. Technically it COULD save my life. Anything can happen. I’m actually just being smart! Proactive! Preparing myself for any situation.
The way I see it, there are different ways to handle such a situation if it were to occur, a lot of which depends on your surroundings of course. For example, being attacked outside versus being trapped in your house. And for that matter, being trapped on the easily escapable side of your house versus being inconveniently trapped in that one room with no windows or doors that lead to safety. Unless of course, you magically have an intricate tunnel-type system between the walls of your house that link you to the other rooms and to freedom, as I like to believe about my house (note: There is no indication of this system from the outside... my entrance is entirely invisible to the people attacking me).
Option 1: Stand scared frozen and unfortunately do absolutely nothing useful or productive. Although I acknowledge that this is likely the most realistic reaction, I completely disregard it, for the sheer fact that this IS a hypothetical situation, and I like to imagine myself being a bit more badass.
Option 2: Run away. Sounds boring, but we are talking about running at lightning speed! Hopping fences, climbing up fire escapes, leaping from rooftop to rooftop! Typical superhero type stuff.
Option 3: Stand my ground and face them like a true ninja warrior. Not knowing how to fight is totally irrelevant because when the time comes, I will just instinctively know how to beat the S*** out of these people! Doesn’t matter how many there are or how stealthy their attack is, they would be no match for my crazy awesome attack moves!
So today, when I was home alone, standing in the bathroom, these questions about spontaneous attack crossed my mind again, and as I pondered the usual options, I looked at myself in the mirror (at which time I was highlighting my own hair with one of those cheap do-it-yourself kits.... which involves wearing this cap thing that you pull random hairs through to highlight....)
And for some strange reason, this option occurred to me.
Option 4: (designed for the lesser dramatic, simple home break ins and attacks): Look and act as crazy as possible! Depending on the time of day and my sugar intake, this really may not be too difficult to achieve. Maybe my attackers will be so frightened by my rabid squirrel-like actions that they will leave me alone!
No matter how many countless times I have thought through these situations, and how prepared I SHOULD be, I will still forever HATE when these questions pop into my head when I am driving home late at night. I will continue to run from my car to the front door without looking at any bushes, and walk directly to my room without looking left or right. Not that I am scared or anything of course... I just don't want to take away my enemy's element of surprise, it just ruins all the fun!
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