The Best Story Ever!

Do you ever think of something that you are just so excited to tell someone? Not just ANY thing, something SO good that it requires careful planning on how it will be shared. I don’t know why it requires this, but it just does, because since the moment it popped into your head, it has become your self-proclaimed duty to ensure that it’s going to be the best story ever and you have to make sure that the listener will get maximum enjoyment out of it. You are so proud of this thing and it is absolutely necessary that they think it is as great as you do. So you strategize, plan and practice. You giggle to yourself as you tell the story over and over again in your head because you are just so smitten with yourself, your intellect and your incredible sense of humor. You make sure that you have the perfect combination of words for that clutch sentence in the story. You try to refrain from enlarging your eyes as you practice your emphasises so that passers-by don’t think you are crazy. It is all in the name of perfection. While doing this, you also envision the perfect reaction you are going to receive after this story. The hysterical laughter, followed by the comment about how ridiculously funny you are. There are multiple possibilities, all of which ideally include some form of a compliment. But you’re not naive, you can’t expect it to be that easy. They may throw out negative remarks or questions, or attempt to top your story, so you have prepared follow-up stories or jokes to tell that will guarantee your moment of glory and that compliment.

So then the time comes, the moment that you have been waiting for. Light will finally be shed on your genius! You are just so overjoyed that the excitement is written all over your face, causing them to jump the gun and ask what you’re so happy about! A question that alters the prepared lead into your story and sends a few nerves to break up your smile. But no worries! You’ve got your story on lock! You simply rearrange a few sentences and YOU’RE OFF! Your explosion of a story has begun! 

There! You did it! You didn’t think it was possible, but you still found joy in hearing yourself tell it for the thousandth time! It couldn’t have been said any better! You wait in anticipation for the reaction! But then there’s that pause that lasts a split second too long... the not quite loud enough laughter... the comment that you swear is the one comment in the history of comments to kill any chance of a comeback to save your story and your pride. There is nothing to say, no further discussion. There is no compliment. You would have preferred the negative remark or the annoying story-topper... at least you were prepared for that. But this? The awkward, not overly impressed, not so responsive, failure to appreciate everything that was so great about that story. What do you do? Your joy is instantly gone. You try to maintain your smile, mostly so they have something to look at other than your angry eyes that are screaming YOU SUUUUUUCK!!!! You are just so beyond upset that their reaction wasn’t what you had hoped. It’s like, you were SO proud of this thing, you took the time to think about the PERFECT way to tell it... but they couldn’t be bothered to react exactly how you had planned... inconsiderate jerks. But it’s over. You’re just too annoyed now, and the person doesn’t understand what happened. You aren’t going to confess that you carefully planned and practiced how you were going to tell them, and that they ruined your ideal reaction. Who wants to admit that they spent a ridiculous amount of time on that, or admit that they really weren’t paying attention to anything the other person said in the last 5 minutes, because they were STILL thinking about it? That's just going to make you look stupid. Plus, it ruins any credit you would get for spontaneity or great story telling skills. So then they ask what’s wrong? What happened? Did I do something wrong? GAHH! THEY are what’s wrong! You WERE happy! and YES! THEY DID! But what are you supposed to say? You ruined it? You ruining, fun sucking person! You didn’t read my mind and now I hate you! There’s just no appropriate response. So instead, you just sit there and look like a grumpy, unsatisfied, closet complainer. Quite the opposite from where you started.... Way to ruin the best story ever...